First Comes Love..

Remember that song you would sing on the school bus as a taunt to friends who you thought might like each other… “First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage…”

I have been grateful in this life to have found just that.  I met my husband when I was 24 years old, a recent college graduate. I was young and excited (and a bit naïve) about life. My husband, at the time, was a 31 year old man who lived 8 hours away and on the rollercoaster that is starting a new business. 

We couldn’t have been further than ideal for each other on paper.  But within minutes of meeting in a bar we were both compelled to keep chatting – and that was that. Of course he was the loud one with the Long Island accent, and I was the designated driver who had work the next morning. But somehow we clicked, and the very next day he had sent flowers to my store. Two months later I relocated to Astoria, Queens. More on my family’s shock next time…

But, relationships are not perfect, and making one work with extremely different lives isn’t easy. We have never once pretended that being “the one” for each other meant that life and loving each other would be simple. But, it has been one the greatest gifts in my life.

Being so different from each other means that we challenge each other every day to see the world differently; to examine a situation with a new outlook. 

Probably the most stark difference between us is that my husband is the ultimate optimist. He sees the good in everyone, the positive in every scenario, and the light in even the darkest room. I like to consider myself a “realist” which he says is pessimism. I have to laugh here because it’s such a regular debate in our home that it’s a joke! But in every scenario we balance and aggravate each other.

Today marks our 3rdwedding anniversary and I almost can’t believe it hasn’t been longer! We have been together 6.5 years, and in that time we have moved 4 times, owned 2 homes, undergone some major home renovation projects had one beautiful son!

Children was always something we both wanted. When we learned we were expecting our first child it was a night of pure giddy excitement- like a toddler with a cookie. That night was a little more than 2 years ago and everything we have gone through in that time has challenged us- our relationship, our communication skills, and how we can support one another through our differences.

Raising tiny humans is so incredibly hard. Putting your baby into surgery twice in a year is brutal. Staying in love amidst that kind of chaos takes patience, forgiveness, acceptance, and hard work. 

Today I look at the man I married and I love him more than I did 6.5 years ago in that bar, and I love him more than I did 3 years ago at the altar. I love him for the father he is to our boy, for the provider he is for our family, and for the man who loves me through my hardest and my best days. I am grateful to have him as my partner and my cheerleader. I couldn’t imagine walking through this life with anyone else. 

Happy Anniversary my love, here is to three amazing years, and a lifetime left to drive each other crazy.


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